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Dead Man on Campus (1998)

Fri, 25 May 2012 01:35:48 -0400

It’s funny how much different the meaning of the word “facebook” is in this movie. Other than that, it might just be the last nail in Mark-Paul Gosselaar’s career’s coffin. Ain’t that a bitch.

If you think you’re about to watch this movie, cannonball some weed and Wild Irish Rose and start playing russian roulette. It’s that time.

Photo

Thu, 24 May 2012 23:30:23 -0400

WarGtmes?

Thu, 24 May 2012 21:17:22 -0400

WarGtmes?

Clay Pigeons (1998)

Thu, 24 May 2012 21:03:00 -0400

This is one of the oddest movies I’ve ever seen. As tense as anything else I can imagine in the strangest campiest way.

Vince Vaughn plays a strange homicidal maniac of a “good buddy” to Joaquin’s tortured morality.

On top of all this is a very strange and quirky soundtrack. I can’t help but lol as I wonder what will happen next as the situation gets worse and worse for Clay. It’s a sark comedy of a crime thriller, if I had to call it anything.

On the bright side, there are bewbs. SO you can’t lose, know what I mean?

I live in Miami. It is flat as fuck here. It never ceases to amaze me that geography can add so much texture to a film.

If for nothing else, one should see this movie just to see Vince Vaughn seriously showing his chops. I have rarely seen a more spooky performance out of anyone. Especially him. And, of course, Garofolo gives a turn as her normally butchy self but shows a surprisingly cute side for a second next to Vaughn. Telling you, he’s good in this.

Grab yourself a six of Bud, a good ol’ fashioned American cheeseburger wrapped in greasy wax paper, and get ready for a fun, white-knuckle ride through some Western mystery. Actually Im a vegetarian. I ate Indian food and drank Mandarin soda the whole flick. Fuck do I know. Why are you even reading this?

For good measure:

And this is why I watch the credits:

Midnight in Paris (2011)

Sun, 20 May 2012 17:17:00 -0400

I hate Woody Allen. My friend does too. But he said to watch this. So here we go.

I hope he stays behind the camera. (Iknow absolutely zero about this film’s premise)

I lost count of the establishing shots of “Hey look how gorgeous Paris is.” Fuck Paris.

OK, credits are rolling. don’t see woody’s name in the actors… Brody. nice… Carla Bruni.. sounds familiar…

Has a sorta Carnage vibe.

So, like, it was a rom-com thing and now he’s back in the 20’s?? OK I can dig that. I was a professional time traveler as a matter of fact. Back from 1998-2004 I worked the Byzantine Corridor and the early medieval circuit.

The Hemingway character seems a little more gruff than I would’ve imagined him. And Owen Wilson seems super cool with the whole situation. I don’t get this. And then he walks out. You never leave the room if you’re magically back in time. Duh.

I knew it. The cafe turned into a laundromat.

Needless to say he tries to show his fiancee the place and she leaves right before the time-travelling antique car sputters up. Gil (Wilson) hops in the car and Hemingway starts doing his run-on thing again. Let’s see where this goes…

—

OK. Fuck. I loved it. Damnit. The pacing was marvelous. I felt like I was dancing with all the characters. How interesting. And I’m not sure what happened but I never noticed how much Owen Wilson sounds like Woody Allen. Mannerisms and speech and all. He really does. In a strange lazy-confident sort of way.

And this is the second time in a month I’ve heard a character in a movie say they need to be shut up with their work in order to truly produce anything valuable. (The other film being Howl).

Hmmmm.

It’s making me think which is the best thing that can happen in a movie.

See this. It’s fun. It touches on love without soaking you in it like an over-syruped crepe.

Summer of Sam (1999)

Sun, 20 May 2012 16:54:47 -0400

FINALLY. BEWBS.

This movie has a super corny idea of what punk rock is, coupled with a rather typical idea or image of the 70’s Disco scene. It’s a fun film but altogether a bit hysterical. The fun part though is the scumbag Vinny (John Leguizamo). He’s basically banging his way around New York the whole movie, in a haze of denial and amphetamine.

Plenty of nudity so even if everything sucks (which not all of it does, really), there’s still something to catch your eye (get it? like your eye? singular? one eye??). The scene where he bangs the Italian cousin in a ‘68 Camaro is especially fun. Bravo!

We Were Soldiers (2002)

Sun, 20 May 2012 16:43:46 -0400

Was not a huge fan of this movie the first time around, and the second time I’m still not into it. Seems like a reckless Mel Gibson vehicle really. I try to take it seriously I really do. But this horrible Barry Pepper montage scene just kills it for me….

I mean. The rest of the movie might have something going on. But this just has to be the cheesiest bit of editing I’ve ever seen. Like, I expect this sort of style from the dorks that videotape prom and are used to laying out yearbooks for melodramatic effect.

I woulda made a gif of the scene but im not into opening photoshop right now. Deal.

Barry Pepper makes for his camera after seeing an N.V.A. whose face looks like pad thai because of napalm.

Then it turns into this wal-mart family photo studio double exposure nonsense:

Also, check out Sam Elliott in one of his few less-mustached roles Sgt. Maj. Basil Plumley (Horrible name…but I suppose it might’ve been real person, so like, oops, I guess).

The Outlaw Josey Wales (1976)

Sun, 20 May 2012 16:22:14 -0400

With a backlog of some 81 movies to review, it occurs to me I’ll never do it unless I do it as I watch. So, without further ado:

My brain has been soaking in noir films lately. A western is certainly a brighter, dustier, genre. At least I thought so till the montage scene. All blues and blacks. I’m reminded of Spielberg saying he de-saturated all the color from Saving Private Ryan. Must be a war thing. Also, not sure de-saturate is a word at all.

So this is gonna be sorta stream of consciousness:

Never heard the word poultice in a movie. Nice.
So far I’m liking everything, but I really don’t know if I know who the bad guys are. It seems like the “bad guy” is civilization. Which is cool.

This guy rules, Ten Bears:

So many great quotes come out of this one scene alone. “Dyin’ ain’t hard for men like you and me. It’s livin’ that’s hard.” ”Governments don’t live together. People do.” “It’s a shame governments are chiefed by the double-tongued.” “There is iron in your words of death. There is iron in your words of life.”

YouTube this scene if you’re not into the whole feature-length thing. More or less sums it all up.

—

As for the rest of the movie, this is a fascinating time period to document in film. The Civil War just over, nearly wrenching the country asunder. Desperate outlaws who see nothing left turning west, with no regard for the their own civilization, and coming into contact with a world where a native american is a fact of life, not something you rarely see (as in the south). The Old West is seen here as a newborn. The Frontier—if it’s a process and not a place—is taking its first deep gulps of air and firing to life as the vicious old fight between slave and free states winds down.

All the violent energies of places like Bleeding Kansas have to find a new outlet.

Josey Wales is among the earliest in a line that will go all the way down and end with men like Jesse James. To ultimately become a farce embodied in men like Wild Bill.

—

classic.

Consenting Adults (1992)

Sun, 20 May 2012 02:33:49 -0400

I’ve seen this movie about 3 times. And it just hit me that it’s sort of a noir film, except it’s missing the “City”. Although I don’t know that that is always a necessary ingredient.

Anyway, at 1’ 19” Kevin Kline’s character starts running up some stairs and everything is all topsy-turvy all over again. Classic noir. Even the lighting is ever-so-chiaroscuro. The music matches everything and is slightly evocative of his jingles in the beginning of the film. Echoing how his world has gone to shit.

This movie rules.

Audrey Hepburn and William Holden in Sabrina (1954) goddamn...

Fri, 18 May 2012 23:00:33 -0400

Audrey Hepburn and William Holden in Sabrina (1954)

goddamn she’s hot.

hollywooddotcom: The BEST photo from Cannes. All hail Bill...

Fri, 18 May 2012 22:59:41 -0400

hollywooddotcom:

The BEST photo from Cannes. All hail Bill Murray.

More photos

[Image: Wenn]

fuckin a right

"Lights down, curtain up, voice-over: Observe the mighty beast, mankind’s riskiest experiment...."

Sun, 06 May 2012 01:28:56 -0400

“Lights down, curtain up, voice-over: Observe the mighty beast, mankind’s riskiest experiment. A sprawling, soaring monster with a steel skeleton and concrete overcoat. Some brilliant Frankensteins learned how to pump electricity through its arteries; now it lurches and crackles and spes non-stop. On its daylight streets you’ll witness the most courageous of human endeavors: the will to co-exist. But when the curtain of night falls, you’d better head for home. Or learn first-hand about our truly ingrained trait: the desire to devour”

- Eddie Muller, Dark City: The Lost World of Film Noir

Sat, 05 May 2012 20:29:00 -0400

alec guinness as marcus aurelius getting all meditations-y. the...

Mon, 23 Apr 2012 01:05:00 -0400

alec guinness as marcus aurelius getting all meditations-y.

the first time i saw this i taped it (yes. VHS.) after a special on PBS dedicated to Frank Sinatra, who had just died. in case you were into giving a fuck about that.

how about...

Sun, 22 Apr 2012 23:53:00 -0400

…sophia loren, alec guinness, stephen boyd, christopher plummer in a BADASS film about the last gasp of a semi-healthy hegemon known as the Roman Empire that quite possibly created our modern world. Gladiator eat your heart out.more on that later….

important take-away: don’t let a blind guy look for your sacrificial animal’s heart.

Photo

Sat, 21 Apr 2012 16:57:02 -0400

dumb and dumber/inception-remix trailer

Thu, 05 Apr 2012 11:10:12 -0400

dumb and dumber/inception-remix trailer

suicideblonde: miss you PS

Thu, 05 Apr 2012 10:54:10 -0400

suicideblonde:

miss you PS

Sun, 18 Mar 2012 15:45:05 -0400

Photo

Mon, 05 Mar 2012 22:29:34 -0500