musics, stories, shorties, randoms, photos, clothes ...l'auteur
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We all know that there isn’t anything to say about Hook that can’t be summed up with a trihawk and a few good shouts of “RU-FI-OOOOOO.”
Except maybe…..HOW MUCH DID YOU WANNA SQUEEZE THIS KID AND SEE IF ICING CAME OUT?????
He’s like the affirmative action Stay Puft man:
I’m not saying anything….just you know… when the office of Peter Pan became vacant, he got it, and there were a couple other guys I know who had the credentials and were way senior..Im just saying…
I get lung cancer just watching Breathless but this guy is cool. For a French.
I love sweaty movies about Kathleen Turner having sex. That’s like an entire category unto itself. Under the broader category of Blonde Screen Skanks a la Basic Instinct and anything with Rebecca DeMornay and Antonio Banderas.
Netflix recommended I watch this. I’m guessing because I like naked chicks. And the internet knows everything I do. Stands to reason it would know what I want to do. Get me?
There are a lot of cool shots of William Hurt driving through coke-era Miami. But it’s mostly just highway scenes between the parts you really want to see (Husky-voice saying “don’t stop”). I won’t stop baby but I might rewind!! WOOHOOO!! Romancin that g-stone!
OK so also check out Ted Danson playing a lawyer who double fists Iced Tea and Mickey Rourke pre-stick-my-face-in-a-weed-wacker-fight days. I seriously didn’t even recognize him in his breakout role of “criminal”. Which he plays pretty well. In real life I mean. You know he’s from Miami Beach? Crazy. I would have thought he was from Jersey.
As much as I’d love to watch B-movies and respect their creators for the will to persevere, I find it hard to do so. Unless, of course, there’s an audience silhouetted in front composed of snarky robots and goofy Minnesotans.
Naturally I gave this one a shot. And it was interesting enough for the 39 minute investment I made. And I’m not trying to be rude, but I put on Jim Gaffigan instead. But let me offer consolation by saying that despite “changing the channel” so to speak, Gaffigan didn’t deliver either.
In other words: I respect you, movie, but I don’t think we can be together any more.
The premise (zombie movie from the point of view of the recently dead) is a cool one. It follows the ‘government medical experiment gone awry’ tack. The execution was even …coherent, if not all that compelling (black and white vs. color to distinguish perspective)… but I had to look away.
The acting wasn’t even bad. But something about all that camp, I just can’t take it seriously. It’s like when that guy at work who you KNOW does meth, he starts telling a story and he thinks it’s fascinating and you’re sure it could even be funny if you just start mocking him, but he won’t get the “meta-joke” of you mocking him so then it’s just trite and you have to leave before you hit him in the face or tell him “btw susie in HR said something about random drug screenings today. gotta go, lunch date at applebee’s. see ya!”
I swort to myself I’d review every movie i ever seent, even if only briefly. I’ve been watching a lot of netflix, and now I have a lot of homework.
Here’s a taste of what’s coming (get it? get it?):
Room in Rome, The End of Poverty?, Up the Yangtze, The Linguists, Brooklyn’s Finest, Rise of the Footsoldier, Fish Tank, Fraulein, Unthinkable, The Freebie, The Doom Generation, Nightwatching, Goya’s Ghosts, Mesrine: Part 1
I’ll probably review the last one I watched first, even though Mesrine should be up. You want to know why I will review first???
Why didn’t anyone tell me you can see Reese Witherspoon’s you know whats in this movie??
For the longest time I didn’t see it because I thought it was another Snakes On A Plane kinda thing. Instead it was “I’ve had it with these motherfuckin snakes and this motherfuckin moan”.
I dont even know what that means.
Anyway so I was interested in this movie, then it got weird when he chained her up. I mean fer serious, is it like a reverse racial thing or is there some kind of serial killer thing going on…idk I got kinda confused.
Talk about stupid plots.
But there’s always plenty of boobs to keep you “glued” to the screen, if you know what I mean.
So then Reese converts to Jesus and the movie just fell flat for me. It could’ve ended twenty five minutes sooner than it did. I started doing laundry. No kidding.
So that’s that.
I have a lot more reviews to write so I’m gonna sign off. You can “log off” and watch this movie now, if you know what I mean.
