“some things never get old. whether it’s a good juicy hamburger, a pastrami sandwich, or drunken doggy style. they’re just classics.”
— anthony bourdain
movies with rowr!
musics, stories, shorties, randoms, photos, clothes ...l'auteur
• Question?
note to readers, if you really think i dont know the difference between ricci and witherspoon, please fuck off and die.
also, not surprised that girls don’t get it. just sayin
blogjammin': Black Snake Moan (2006)
Why didn’t anyone tell me you can see Reese Witherspoon’s you know whats in this movie??
For the longest time I didn’t see it because I thought it was another Snakes On A Plane kinda thing. Instead it was “I’ve had it with these motherfuckin snakes and this motherfuckin moan”.
I dont even…
it’s Christina Ricci ya dumb fuck
It’s a joke ya dumb fuck
crazysixelacool-deactivated2011 asked: That's not Reese Witherspoon in Black Snake Moan, that's Christina Ricci.
*blank stare and a pause* it’s a joke, dude……………..
see, youve introduced this whole self doubt thing that leaves me no way out other than to assume you have no sense of humor; which, while reassuring, makes me draw conclusions about people i dont even know over meaningless shit on the internet. and i dont want to do that, i’ll feel like a food blogger with gout.
Blade Runner (1982)
I have to start by saying that i have tried MANY times to watch this movie, only to end up bored, asleep, or putting something else on. i love ford, scott, and robots. im not sure what is wrong with me that such a classic continually glazes my eyes (note to self, next porn review, work in “glazed her eyes”).
here’s the thing. i cant help but think “ok its the future, but everything in this movie wreaks of the time when it was made.” the assumption japan would take over the world…everyone smoking and drinking like it’s 1965, no iphones. what sort of future is this??
in the end, i think the problem is a lifelong devotion to harrison ford films. the omnipresent “understanding and comprehension slowly dawn on harrison ford” scene. think about it. remember when luke told han that leia was his sister? yup. remember every other scene in Regarding Henry where retard Ford learns to do something new? yup. remember Last Crusade when he finds out the austrian bimbo is a nazi? yup. so for me to sit here watching this, after nearly three decades of looking at this guy, and ten minutes in he does his half cocked smile over a bowl of noodles, i just assume i know whats going to happen.
point is: the movie might be great but i cant seem to sit through it.
but yes, there is nudity. thats enough reason to watch anything. but —and im not even kidding— there is some random chick walking around my house so i cant whip it out. ironic isnt it?
oh and edward james olmos with blue eyes! lol. yeah right. the help doesnt have blue eyes!
holy. fucking. shit.
bill murray. anthony bourdain.
two heroes. one table.
my dad bought me a handgun for my birthday. im left to wonder: should i just take my cue and exit now?
what could top this, short of being their waiter?
The top of Mt. Everest, after all, is only ONE summit. Here, on the other hand, we have two megalithic personae. What the shit. I don’t know who to call!
…
i decided to opt out of the russian-writer finale and assume there’s something else out there. maybe a revisit of zombieland. or, perhaps, netflix another No Reservations episode and simultaneously play Ghostbusters while masturbating maniacally during the “ray, when somebody asks you: ‘are you a god”, you say YES” scene….
ive seen better… but not many
Peggy Sue Got Married (1986)
This is by far the worst Jim Carrey movie I have ever seen.
But Kathleen “Smoke-Voice” Turner kinda went ahead and saved the whole thing.
That said I know we’ve all seen this so I won’t bother with the details. Suffice to say that weird guy from the Mummy manages to bang the slut Turner. WTF? I mean… you know that’s weird right? That guy is strange. Made me wanna ride my motorcycle and read some Burroughs though so that’s nice.
Final thoughts: I kinda actually misted up at the end. Aight let’s be honest I cried in my Mike’s Hard Lemonade. Shame but it’s true. I was on a hard lemonade rom-com marathon last night. Next up I review When Harry Met Sally and Sleepless in Seattle. It’s gonna be a veggie taco and bon-bons night!!!
Soundtrack review here.